Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone; they need some clitoral stimulation to climax. This is where your fingering skills can come in handy.
So how to do fingering so well that your level of satisfaction increases? If you want to excite your girl into an orgasm simply by fingering, here is all you need to know.
What to Expect
Fingering can be an incredibly sensual experience. However, if it’s your first time and you don’t know what to expect, then it can get irritating. To avoid that, here's all you need to know.
First things first, know all about the vulva. Here are some parts of the vulva you should know about:
- Vulva: It is made up of a pubic mound, outer and inner labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and perineum
- Labia: Labia is a lip-like fold of skin and can be found around the vaginal opening
- Clitoris: Clit is the female sex organ and is the primary source of sexual pleasure
- Perineum: Another erogenous area, perineum is located between the vagina and anus
Fingering involves exciting the clitoris, a part of the vulva. Though it looks tiny, it extends far beyond the pelvic area. You can stimulate G-spot orgasms just by stimulating them. While it is an integral part of fingering, you should focus on the other parts as well. Directly starting with the clit can get painful. Remember, all the parts of the vulva can be tickled, massaged, and stroked to excite your partner into an orgasm.
But you get into the nitty-gritty, here’s what you can expect when you go south:
- Like all good things, labia come in all colours, shapes, and sizes. While some labia can be long, some can be short. Some can be wrinkly. Some can be puffy, and some can be highly smooth - it depends from person to person.
- This is also true for pubic hair - hair also comes in all sizes, colours, and thicknesses. Some women prefer to keep their pubic hair trimmed, while others wish to let them run wild.
- Expect some scent down there. It won't smell like roses and daisies, more like musty, earthy, mushy, even coppery. It is usual for vaginas to smell, well, as long as it does not smell like decaying fish - that can be the case of an infection.
- Well, expect taste as well. Fingering is fantastic, but if you both prefer oral, know that vulvas have their taste. It might taste salty, metallic, bitter, tangy, sharp, or sour. Again, you have to be concerned only when they taste fishy.
- Remember, even though fingering is a low-risk activity, it is not entirely risk-free. Sexually transmitted infections (STI) transmissions are possible by mere hand sex. Your partner may have an STI that can be transmitted by bodily fluid; then, you are at risk. If they touch you after touching themselves, they could be transferring their STI to you.
Common Doubts Before We Get on the Action
The theory is underrated, but it can prepare you for practicals quite well. So let's clarify some doubts about how to do fingering before moving to action. Here are some common questions people usually have:
What if I can't find the clit?
While some clits are prominent, others may be buried beneath the hood. If you can't see anything, play around to locate it, and you might end up exciting your partner more, so it is a win-win.
What if my hands get tired?
A very valid question, but the play should be enjoyable to both of you. So if you get tired, take a break. Or you could suggest using a vibrator on her or asking her to touch herself.
Why is she quiet?
Sexual activities don't have to be noisy, so if she is quiet, it's okay. Some people are loud, others are not, and both scenarios are normal. And if you are not sure if you are doing things right, it is always a good idea to ask.
What does a vagina feel like?
It depends on how aroused she is, whether you're wearing gloves, whether they are menstruating, and so much more. A vagina can feel hot or warm, textured, tight/narrow/loose/wide.
How to know it's time to stop?
Ideally, you stop when you think about this question. But ask your partner before making the decision. You don't have to stop when you both orgasmif that's not what either of you wants.
Basics to Fingering - How to Make Your Move
Now that we have cleared some basic doubts, let's see how you can prepare yourself to make a move. Here are some things you should keep in mind:
1. Arousal
Before driving south, get them fired up, that is to say, get them turned on. You can flirt with fire by kissing, nipple play, earlobe teasing, neck kissing, or oral sex.
2. Position
There are many positions you can go about fingering her. The most common missionary position is when she is on her back with her legs open. However, the more positions you explore, the more different kinds of sensations you can experience. But make sure you are both comfortable, or the experience won't be pleasurable. Some styles that you can try are:
- If you try doggy style, the sensation would be different, opening her up.
- If she doesn't want it too deep, external stimulation or shallow penetration can help.
- If she is more dominant than you, kneel and make her stand.
3. Clothes
To keep the clothes on or not, it depends on you. If you are comfortable without clothes, then strip so that it builds up momentum and stirs arousal. If that's not how you want it, keeping clothes on shouldn't be a bummer. In fact, cupping her vulva over clothes can get her more aroused.
4. Fingers
A common question you might think about when wondering how to do fingering is, how many fingers to use? Here is a simple answer - if you use too many fingers, too soon, then one, it can be painful, and two, it will get over sooner than you want.
Now ... How to Do Fingering
Yes, it’s time to move to the meat of the matter – how to do fingering? Though this guide can provide you with some general direction, your girl can provide even more detailed information.
1. Wash Your Hands
It should go without saying that if your fingers are entering someone's body, they better be clean.
2. Slow and Steady
As we said previously, the more fingers you put in, the more likely it will get over sooner. So take it slowly, ease in one finger at a time, explore her vagina slowly, and in the beginning, maintain a steady pace.
It's important to remember here that you do not recreate the movements of your penis and thrust fast. You want to stimulate her; the best way is to ease in slowly and aim for her G-spot.
3. Lock Eyes
If you want an intimate experience and savour every moment of this experience, maintain eye contact and sync your breathing with hers.
4. Non-Verbal Cues
At the same time, notice their body language, and you will know how to do fingering better. Notice if she is thrusting her hips in your hands, if her breathing is getting erratic, and what her hands are doing. Such non-verbal cues will tell you a lot about your performance.
5. Pay Attention To Clit
The clitoris, or the clit as it is often called, is the epicentre of all pleasure. So that should be your point of focus.
6. Persistent Rhythm
Successful fingering is all about maintaining rhythm, and if your pace is working, there is no need to change it unless your partner demands you change it.
When you are too deep in the action and enjoying it, you might want to take it a notch higher and increase the rhythm. It is normal to think that. However, if your partner loves what you are doing, it is not a good idea to make any changes to that rhythm.
7. Switch
Don't continue the same movement over and over again; you can spice up the entire process by trying methods like:
- stroke around the clitoris
- apply pressure on the public mound
- swipe on perineum
- stroke large circles around the whole vulva
- tap the clitoral hood
What Happens Afterwards
What happens next depends on both you and your partner. So check in with your partner, ask her if she wants to continue. You could try asking:
- How are you feeling?
- Are you up for something else?
- Do you want to take a breather?
- Do you want me to stop?
Or you could want her to stimulate you now that you have done your part. So you could ask her if she would prefer that.
Remember, communication is the key to a successful sexual experience. So tell them how much you loved fingering them and how good it felt.
Summing Up On How To Do Fingering
The enjoyment of manual sex is often underrated, but you can have the time of your lives when done well. Remember not to lose yourself in figuring out how to do fingering right so that you forget to enjoy the process.
References
- Nieves Martin-Alguacil, Justine M. Schober (2008) Clitoral Sexual Arousal: Neuronal Tracing Study From the Clitoris Through the Spinal Tracts - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2740385/
