My kids seem more chipper than usual this weekend. At first, I thought it was because of the extended school break that they are enjoying. A part of me wished that I had a similar break when I was a kid. Then I realised the reason for their enthusiasm – Sunday is Mother’s Day.
While the kids are busy drawing up cards and creating cute collages for their mom, I begin to think about my mom who’s a few hundred miles away right now. Her health and well being often keep me up at night since I am away from her during the lockdown. Sometimes, I wish I could spend more time with the person who spent sleepless nights for me to sleep well at night
We all have that one person who plays a significant role in shaping our personality. My mother shaped my life in so many ways, but I was probably too naive to realise it back then. Now, when I reminisce about those good old days I recognize the importance of every lesson she taught me that made me the man I am today.
I was a handful as a kid. My father called me a wild animal; mom believed that the excess energy only had to be channelled in the right direction. So she enrolled me in various activities: football, karate, badminton, even roller skating. But, to be honest, roller skating was one activity that truly made me feel alive. It was love at first try. My mother stood by me as I learnt how to balance on those roller skates. Day after day, I tried and succeeded, bit by bit. But from the very first day, my eyes were always set on those fancy inline skates. Then came the grand day: I was going to try on inline skates for the very first time. I had barely started when I fell on my knees. I stood up and tried once again but I just couldn’t maintain my balance. My knees and elbows were bruised red. The next thing I remember I was back home, crying. Mom comforted me. I told her that I would never skate again. She asked if I would like to have my favourite potato bhaji. I nodded, tears streaming down my cheeks. She then held out her hand and pointed to a thin, off-white line on her forearm. The first time she tried to make bhaji she had burnt her hand. Had she given up, my favourite treat would never have existed. She motivated me to try again; the next day I went back to the rink and tried again. Do you know what happened next? Two months after this incident I won my first gold medal in a roller-skating tournament.
We fall down so that we can get up – only to succeed. That first lesson has stayed with me.
The second lesson that my mother taught me was not through lecture but, through her actions.1st August 1980, it was my moms birthday – I must have been around 12 years old. We had the usual cutting of the cake in the evening after which dad gifted her a glittering diamond set. He then hastily left to attend an important meeting. As she tried on the necklace and earrings, I told mom that she must be very happy to receive such a precious gift. She smiled and said that she would happily trade the diamond set for ten more minutes of my father’s time. His priority was providing for the family, which was probably his only priority in those days. His life was work and more work. I don’t blame him. The men of his generation were valued and respected on how well off their families were; not how much they loved their wives and kids. For mom, no diamond in the world could make up for time spent with family.
The most precious gift is time spent with your loved ones. This lesson has stayed with me throughout my working life.
My attention is drawn back to my kids. The two are squabbling over something with some mild pushing and shoving. My wife steps in and tells our younger boy that he must learn to respect people, not push them around. I am reminded of one of the most important lessons that my mother taught me.
After attending college during the day, I was hanging out with a few boys from the neighbourhood. One evening, a girl passed us at the street corner. No sooner had she walked by, than a stray comment was passed, followed by whistles and laughter. When I got back home, my mother called me into the kitchen where she was preparing dinner. She had witnessed this incident. She proceeded to explain to me that the girl we had just teased was someone’s sister and would probably grow up to be someone’s mother. “How would you like it if someone teased me or your sister?” Her words ring inside my head to this day. I stopped hanging out with the boys after that.
Respect for everyone, irrespective of their gender, is a priority. I think it is one of the most important lessons my mom taught me.
The kids have finished preparing the card and the collage. They are quite excited to surprise their mom with all the cards and decoration. This reminded me of the time I baked half-burnt cupcakes for my mum. She ate those nonetheless.
Growing up, other kids would tease me by saying that I am a Mama’s Boy. It used to irk me all the time. Today I wear that badge with pride. It has made me a dad loved by the kids, and a husband loved by his wife. All that is left to say is mom, thank you. I love you. Happy Mother’s day.
